Inspirational Stories

"This is just for now; I will get past this."

Being diagnosed at age 56 with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL) was the biggest surprise of my life. I was active, healthy, and strong, and had just "married off" my daughter days earlier. Oddly, I didn't experience much fear; I knew my life was changing greatly and that there would be challenges ahead that I'd never imagined. But I never thought to myself, "If I survive this." It was always, "When I'm cured of this." I had this optimism and countenance that everything would be okay and that I would live to be a grandfather. Sure, there was a degree of suffering involved. I hated all food. I was bored to death lying in the hospital. Chemotherapy made me nauseous, and I could throw up without warning. I was very weak and lost about 30 pounds. Of course, my hair fell out. There were numerous blood draws, infusions, and tests, and I found it nearly impossible to get a good night's sleep in the hospital.

I recall having three or four long stays, one lasting 28 days. In those times, my wife stayed in my room nearly every night and would get ready for work in the morning at the hospital. My adult children came to see me, as well as my mother, although visitation was minimal, and no one else was allowed to see me lest I contract an infection, which would have had the potential to kill me because my immune system was essentially gone. I kept thinking to myself, "This is lousy, but it's just for now. I'll get past this." My brother turned out to be a match for the stem cell transplant that was given to me, which was a huge relief. While all this was happening, I received dozens of get-well cards and offers of help, and people told me that they prayed for me. I had all the support that anyone could have envisioned in my situation. One friend even prepared a full Thanksgiving dinner and brought it to me in my hospital room to share with my immediate family. When I was home between hospital stays, I did experience some depression.

Each morning, when my wife would leave for work, I would count the hours until she came home. I felt so alone, and no one could come to see me. It was hard to converse on the phone because I was so exhausted and weak. I stayed weak and tired for the better part of a year after the transplant, during which time I regularly visited the hematology and transplant unit of the hospital. But gradually, I regained my strength and normal weight. I could start driving again and visit with family and friends. Visits to the hospital became farther and farther apart.

The transplant was deemed a success. I was in remission for a couple of years and was declared fully cured within a year or so after that. My hair grew back (but not my eyelashes!), and life returned to being pretty normal. I even got to welcome a first grandchild into the world. The high doses of steroids that I needed to take during my treatment had some minor side effects. I quickly developed cataracts and osteoporosis, and the skin on my arms and hands became very thin and easily bruised or cut.

Fortunately, I did not experience any symptoms of graft versus host disease (GVHD) which is common for transplant patients. I go once yearly for a checkup with the attending physician at the hospital, and each time, I have had a clean health bill.

I am so grateful to everyone involved in researching and treating leukemia and other blood diseases. Had I been diagnosed at a young age, I don't believe that treatments had advanced enough at that point to have given me this second chance at life. I am a very lucky man. Live every day as if it is a bonus, and make the best of it. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone, and to appreciate every day, keeping positive in the best way that you can.

My wife has been my primary source of support, followed by my children, mother, friends, and family. I wish I had known how many people truly care for me so I could've recognized it as much as I do now.