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Inspirational Stories

Santino

Lymphoma

I know the pain of being told that you have cancer twice, but I also know the joy of being told that you have beaten cancer twice. I write this message to bring encouragement and to instill a fight in people who have had a relapse of cancer. Being told once that you have this disease is already heartbreaking, but to be told that it came back and you will need chemo again is soul-crushing.

I was cancer-free for seven years, and in December 2022, my lymphoma came back. I had this big tumor on my chest, and I was so sick. I was so heartbroken and so confused. I asked myself all the questions. Am I going to die this time? Why did this happen to me? Can I beat it again? But what gave me hope was these two things: when I asked my doctor if I could beat it again, his reply was yes; and when I saw the pain on my mother’s face, I’m my mother’s only child, and I had to fight for her.

When they started my first round of chemo, I prayed to my Lord and Savior to give me strength. I was going to beat this again. I did it once, and I could do it again. I relapsed in December 2022, got into full remission, and the tumor was gone by April 2023. In December 2023, a whole year after the relapse, I received my second bone marrow transplant. The first one was in 2015 which was an autologous transplant, and the one in 2023 was an allogenic transplant where my half-sister donated her stem cells for me.

I know every diagnosis and situation is different. And some things are out of our control. But we can control ourselves by three things ― our mindset, our attitude, and our spirit. What worked for me was having a “never quit” mindset, a positive attitude, and a warrior spirit. I tell any cancer patient who is reading this, please do not go into this cancer fight with a defeated mindset. Find something to fight for. I recommend having a certain type of faith system. If you have a religious faith system, hold on to that very strongly. I prayed heavily and had my faith in Jesus Christ. But whatever god you believe in, get strength from your faith. If you don't have a religious faith, find something that can give your spirit strength to continue to fight and keep going. You have to fight. It's the only way. Don’t quit on yourself.
Remember that you have cancer, but cancer does not have you. If you're here in the hospital for a transplant or chemo, you have to get out of that bed and walk. I know the fevers can take a lot out of you, and you haven't slept all night because they are sticking you everywhere doing blood cultures. And the next day they have to give you a strong dose of chemo. I know this process can be exhausting and cause excruciating pain. But this pain is temporary, and this shall pass. Time is the best healer. One day this will all end, and you will be happy with your family. For me, when I was being stuck by needles everywhere or just got hit by a hard dose of chemo, I would listen to motivational music and speeches. I told myself every day that I was going to make it. And most importantly, I prayed.

I wish nobody had to carry the cross of fighting cancer., but unfortunately in this world, some people have to. But God won’t give you anything you can’t handle. Endure this temporary pain. Be an example and instill hope in those coming after you. Thank you for taking the time to read my message. You have to fight and believe. Fight and believe.

“The pain that you have been feeling can’t compare to the joy that is coming.” (Romans 8:18)

"Jesus said to him, 'If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.' Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!’” (Mark 9:23)
 

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