Inspirational Stories

I had been feeling unwell for quite a while. I would come home from work and go to bed right after dinner. I would sleep for hours and still be fatigued. When we had afternoon meetings, I would fall asleep. My husband and I kept thinking it was my very stressful job. I was on airplanes three times a week and would be traveling all over the country. I wasn’t eating or sleeping well. I finally decided to take early retirement. I still did not feel well even after being retired. I finally got to the point where I was so sick, I told my husband to take me to the emergency room. There, the ER doctor told me something was wrong with my blood test, and that I needed to see a hematologist. He wouldn’t tell me anything else. So, a couple of days later, I saw another doctor who proceeded to tell me that I had chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL). My entire world crashed. 

After all my genetic testing and CT were complete, I fell into an extremely dark depression. I was totally convinced that I was going to die soon. I wouldn’t leave the house, nor would I get out of bed. I refused to buy new clothes because I was convinced that why bother, I wasn’t going to live long enough to enjoy them. This went on for weeks. My husband ached for me. Finally, he convinced me to come with him to the community swimming pool. There, a woman noticed how despondent I was. When she asked me what was wrong, I told her. She took my hand and said, “Oh, honey, I have terminal ovarian cancer that has metastasized. I am going to celebrate and enjoy every moment that I have left.” She was so joyous and happy, I envied her. Here is this woman much sicker than I was and she was actually happy. That was, I decided, enough of the self-pity and fear of dying. From that day on, I decided to tackle my CLL head-on and to get healthy. I started eating a very healthy vegetarian, plant-based diet and exercising by swimming, walking, and biking. I joined a Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) support group that has been great. The first time I went to a Light The Night (LTN) walk was so emotional. I cried carrying that white lantern while proudly wearing my survivor t-shirt. It has now been over eight years since diagnosis, and I am doing better than ever. My white count has been completely stable, and I have been in “watch and wait” the entire time since diagnosis.